So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just gargled with NyQuil
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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