Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize