thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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