I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
