i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
