he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
In other news, I just burned my penis
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
