yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
