this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
