I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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