dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
