I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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