Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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