this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
