im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
