he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
