I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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