he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
operation have a gay friend backfired
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
