no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
