dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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