So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
