Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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