yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
