i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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