my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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