i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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