I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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