my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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