I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
