that's an acceptable place to lick
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
