Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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