I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
