New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
