I think my vagina is haunted
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
