was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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