had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
