Duck Duck Cougar?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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