do herpes really smell.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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