nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
