You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
