Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
