Can Purell be used as lube?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize