Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
