I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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