wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
