Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
