Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
