I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
