is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
and she was petting her beer can
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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