found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
