She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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