i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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