For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
