GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So. Much. Porn.
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