Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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