Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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