I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
