hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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