Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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