Please, let me fuck your mom
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
