Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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